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Outline and Audio Sermons:
Dr. Walter D. Huyck Jr. D.Min.

www.thischristianjourney.com


How To Have A Successful Family

Deut 6.1-25

 

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The Family




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It seems that the biblical family is largely lost on our society today.  Yet, the Lord of all creation let us know long ago what it would take to have a successful marriage and family.  It takes successful Husbands who long for and labor toward having a successful relationship with their wife.  It takes a successful wife and mother who longs for and works toward having a successful relationship with her husband.  And it takes parents and children who long for and labor toward having a successful home and family.  Every member of the family is critical when it comes to the home.  Everyone must be on board and working toward the success of the home or devastation is the result.] 

[So just what does God say is required for a successful family?] 

A Successful Family Must, 

A.    Establish The Right Foundation (Psalm 11.3; Eph 6.1-4; Prov 14.1; Mark 3.25) [– The foundation of anything is critical for its endurance.  Build upon a poor foundation and eventually the structure, your skill, time and money will all come tumbling down.  This is true for your life and your home.  God has said,]

[Psalm 11:3 3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? ]

[In our day we don’t have to look very far to see that families are being destroyed all across our community and our country.  As families are falling apart our culture is falling apart as well.  Morality is all but lost to our younger generations.  Right and wrong seem to have vanished into the abyss of lust and unfettered desire.  What has happened to our nation?  What has happened to our culture?  The foundation of our culture was lost and shattered when people lost sight of the fact that the foundation of society rests upon the foundation of society’s homes.]

[Husband’s and wives, children and teenagers all need to understand that a successful home and family must have a strong foundation.  If your foundation is destroyed then your home cannot stand.  Therefore, a successful home must have a strong foundation.  Establishing a right foundation in a home is primarily the task of the parents of the home.  Husband’s and wives must work together to establish an absolute foundation for their home.  However, the children in a home must recognize and work with their parents to shore up the foundation.  The whole family must recognize the importance of having a sure and strong foundation for their home and must work to support that essential foundation.]

[The Apostle Paul wrote,]

[Ephesians 6:1-4 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.]

[Paul shows the children strengthening the home by honoring and obeying (cooperating with) their parents.  He shows the parents working to establish a foundation that will train up and encourage the children in the Lord.]

[How important is the right foundation to your home?] 

         [If you will have peace in your home then you must have the right foundation in your home!]

         [If you will have happiness in your home then you must have the right foundation in your home!]

         [If you will have unity in your home then you must have the right foundation in your home!]

         [If you will have security in your home then you must have the right foundation in your home!]

[Fathers, mothers, and children must all understand, if the foundation of your home is destroyed then there will only be division and chaos in your home!  Is there distress in your home then your foundation is either shattered or destroyed.] 

[I have seen homes where,]

         [Fathers or mothers have destroyed their home’s foundation through immorality and sin, and devastation is the result.]

         [Husbands and wives have destroyed their homes foundation through pride and a lack of cooperation and unity between the man and his wife, this to brings deep distress into a home.  The Bible says it this way,]

[Proverbs 14:1 1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. ]

[Men, women and children can all work to tear down their own house and home with their own hands]

         [Children have worked to destroy their homes through willful rebellion]

[Make no mistake about it a foundation, the right foundation is essential to the success of your home, and you father, mother, and child are either establishing your homes foundation or you are working to tear it down.  What is your homes foundation?  Are you building upon that foundation or are you tearing it down?]

[Jesus said,]

[Mark 3:25 25 And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.]

[Notice two foundations in our text,]

1.      The Foundation Of The Word (Matt 7.24-29) [– Our Lord Jesus Christ told us while He was teaching on this earth, before His crucifixion, and before His undeniable resurrection what the only eternal and lasting foundation in life was.  Jesus said,]

[Matthew 7:24-29 24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine [This is the Word of God], and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock [This is the foundation]: 25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. 26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: 27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it. 28 And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine: 29 For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.]

[Notice that the foundation here is the Word of God and that this is a sure foundation that will endure through every trial.  Look at our text in Deuteronomy.  God wrote through Moses,]

[Deuteronomy 6:4-9 4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.]  

[Notice that God says that it is His Word that is the absolute foundation of life and this, my friends, is the only sure foundation for your home.  Lose the foundation of the Word of God in your home and you have lost everything.  Lose the foundation of the Word of God in your life and you will have lost everything.  All hope will be gone, all purpose will be gone, and every sense of right and wrong will be gone.  You will lose everything!]

2.      The Foundation Of The Witness (Deut 6.4-9,20, 24-25) [- 20 And when thy son asketh thee in time to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD our God hath commanded you? -  Notice in Deuteronomy that God says the fact of the foundation is incredibly important to your home, but He also says the function of the foundation is incredibly important too.]

[Handling the Word - Parents, how your children see you handling the Word of God is a witness to them about what you really believe about God.  I have heard preachers of old say, delinquent children are the result of delinquent parents.  There is a lot of truth in this statement.]

[Parents, if you take your children to Church on Sunday and then live like the world the rest of the week.  Allowing sin, deception, and even immorality into your lives and home, then expect your children to pick up from you that your faith is nothing but an empty and hollow religion.  Secondly, if you go to Church on Sunday and then cannot get along with each other all week long, then expect your children to pick up that your faith is stressful and undesirable.]

[Don’t claim that your house is build upon the foundation of the Word of God if your life and marriage is a demonstration of our worlds selfishness, and strife.  Husbands and wives your relationship with each other will be a witness to your children.  What is your witness?]

[Now how should the “in working” of the Word of God in your life and marriage affect your children and home.  The evidence of your lives should cause your children to ask about all those things of faith that mark your home so that you can say to your children, when they ask,]

[Deuteronomy 6:24-25 24 And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day. 25 And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us.]

[Perhaps you are here today and you have said that the Word of God is the foundation of your home with your words, but your marriage has said that division and strife have been the foundation of your home.  Don’t think it is too late for your home.  You can always establish the right foundation and it will transform your family and home.]

B.     Encourage The Right Fellowship (Eph 5.21,33; 6.1-4; Philip 2.1-5)  [– We often talk about fellowship in the midst of the Church, but my friend if you cannot find fellowship in your home then what makes you think you will find fellowship in your Church.  Notice how Paul worked fellowship into his discourse on the home.  Paul wrote,]

[Ephesians 5:21 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. ]

[Ephesians 5:33 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. ]

[Ephesians 6:1-4 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. 4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. ]

[There ought to be mutual respect within the home, between husbands and wives, parents and children, and every one should fear God (Eph 5.21).  Right is right and wrong is wrong and no one should strive to destroy the home through sin and rebellion.]

[Paul helps us understand how to work out this fellowship in the home in Philippians.  Paul wrote,]

[Philippians 2:1-2 1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 2 Fulfil ye my joy, . . .]

[Consider this list of characteristics before we read on in this text.]

         [Who wants to find consolation in their home?  Everyone. ]

         [Who wants to find loving comfort in their home?  Everyone]

         [Who wants to find a fellowship of Spirit [the presence of God] in their home? Everyone.]

         [Who wants to find bowels of mercies [forgiveness] in their home?  Everyone.]

         [Who wants to find joy in their home? Everyone.]

[Now here is how Paul says you bring these into your home.  Paul says,]

1.      [Have A Unified Mind (Philip 2.2; Deut 6.6-7) - . . .  that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. – Have the same faith, have the same ideas about things, find unity of mind in your home.  Now, how does this happen?  This happens when people spend real time with each other and truly communicate with each other.  It is one thing to live in the same house and have the same biological family, but it is quite another thing to be likeminded.]

[Being likeminded does not mean that family members do not have questions or doubts, but it means that the family works through those doubts together.  By spending time really talking with each other they develop an accord with each other.  This will only develop in the home if it first develops in one’s marriage.]

[In our text Moses wrote,

[Deuteronomy 6:6-7 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. ]

[Husband’s and wives must be intimate with one another, so that they develop one mind and think like each other.  Then their children will learn how to be an intimate part of the family as well.  But understand that each individual must be a part of developing this fellowship within the home.]

2.      [Have A Selfless Mind (Philip 2.3-4) [-  3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. – Nothing will destroy a home and its harmony faster than selfishness.  Pride is at the heart of selfishness.  A home is strengthened when each member of the family protects and promotes the other members of the family.]

3.      [Have a Christ Like Mind (Philip 2.5) -  5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: - But the question arises what is a Christ like mind.  It naturally means to have a mind similar to that of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The characteristics identified in verse 2-8 reveal what the mind of Christ is like.  I say is like, because our Lord is not historic in His existence, He is alive today, thinking about you and I.  So then, what is the mind of Christ like.  The mind of Christ,]

        [Comforts Diligently (Philip 2.1-2) - If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, - Our Lord is merciful, especially toward those who feel they deserve no mercy.  He gives comfort to those who deserve no comfort.  He is the great comforter and sends the Holy Spirit of comfort to dwell within us.]

        [Loves Deeply (Philip 2.1-2; Rom 5.8) - If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.   Without any doubt, through the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ, God’s only begotten Son, we see clearly the incredible Love of God.  But God is not satisfied that we merely see His love, no instead He seeks to unite us with His glorious love by pouring His love into each of His blessed children.]

        [Is Sincerely Devoted (Philip 2.3) - Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; . . . – There is nothing hypocritical or artificial in our Lord’s mind.  When God says you are important to Him, and he does, He means you are important to Him.  You matter to God, your life matters to God, you are a priority to God.]

        [Is Sacrificially Determined (Philip 2.5-8) - Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. – Everything you need to know about the mind of Christ toward you is revealed through Calvary’s Cross.  Gaze upon our Lord hanging upon that cruel Cross and you will come to understand the mind of Christ toward you.  He gave absolutely everything to save you and to pour an abounding life into you.]

[This Mind of Christ is the same mind that each of us is exhorted to understand and adopt as our mind toward one another.  Husband’s must develop and unfold the mind of Christ in and through themselves pouring out His mind in their marriage and their home.   Wives must develop and unfold the mind of Christ in themselves pouring out His mind in their marriage and home.  Children and Youth you must develop and unfold the mind of Christ in themselves pouring out His mind in their family and home.  What if every member of the home were to develop this selfless and sacrificial mind of Christ?  What a glorious home you would have.]

[This mind of Christ fellowship must be the fellowship you pursue in your home and family.  Every family member must strive to manifest the mind of Christ in their home.  You must not wait for your spouse to change, you must not wait for your children to change, you must change and you must change now.  Your home depends upon your personal and committed transformation.]

C.    Endorse The Right Fun (John 10:10) [- The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. – By no means does God intend for the Christian life to be a boring life.  God wants our lives to experience the fullness of His creation.  God gave this creation to mankind after he created us and told us to have dominion over it.  God wants us to fully discover and enjoy this world and universe.  There is nothing that science can discover that is outside of God’s intention for mankind.  There is nothing that science has discovered, when properly understood, that takes away from our God.  The Bible is clear, God wants us to have an abounding life, which means He wants us to have abounding homes.]  Therefore fill your home with,

1.      Excitement (Neh 8.10) [– In Nehemiah the walls around Jerusalem had been rebuilt (Neh 6.1), the priesthood was reestablished (Neh 7), the law of Moses was read (Neh 8), and then the people began to cry for they had failed to keep the law of God and deserved judgment.  But Nehemiah said,]

[Nehemiah 8:10 10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.]

[Our God is a forgiving God.  When people truly repent and turn from their sinful ways, and seek the Lord God with all their hearts, then God forgives them and restores them.  It is exceedingly joyful to live a life given to the one true God.  This is a life full of abounding worship, and strengthening joy.  This is a life of excitement.]

[Now think about this excitement for a moment.  This excitement was not found in a television set, a computer screen, a video game, an athletic event, nor in some prosperous possession.  For all of these things were not known to our predecessors in the Bible.  This abounding joy was found in the presence of God permeating a family given to God and each other.  The point is simple, you don’t need a boat, camper, second house, pool, lake or anything else to experience an abundant life.  What you need is your family and the mind of Christ.]

[Many teenagers have computers, televisions, game boys, and have them in their rooms at home.  Yet, they are miserable, rebellious, despondent, and depressed.  The problem is that they are trying to find the abundant life in stuff.  Teenager, your greatest excitement in life, your greatest joy in life is your family.  All of these things are mere tools or toys, and when recognized the wrong way they will bring despair into your life.  Your Godly family is your greatest joy in life.  Develop the mind of Christ and spend time with your family and you will discover Joy in your life.]

[Parents, listen carefully, your child may have all of these things and much more, but without you and your Godly influence they will still make ship wreck in their lives.  Bring some excitement into your children’s lives, spend time with them.]

2.      Experiences (Deut 6.7) [– And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. – Notice the flowing, abundant experiences pouring forth out of the words of this text.  Some four (4) thousand years ago God gave you and I direction in raising our children and God essentially said, “whatever you are doing, do it heartily to the Lord, with your children.”  Be intimately involved in your children’s lives.  Let your children be intimately involved in your life.  In other words, live life together.]

D.    Embrace The Right Fortress (Deut 6.17-19, 24-25; 7.9-11) [- Ye shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies, and his statutes, which he hath commanded thee. 18 And thou shalt do that which is right and good in the sight of the LORD: that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest go in and possess the good land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, 19 To cast out all thine enemies from before thee, as the LORD hath spoken.]

[Deuteronomy 6:24-25 24 And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as it is at this day. 25 And it shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these commandments before the LORD our God, as he hath commanded us.]

[Fathers and Mothers, Sons and Daughters, hear the Word of God and hear it clearly.  Abandon God in your homes and you will destroy the only fortress you can ever have in this life.  Almighty God is a fortress of safety for those who fear Him, trust Him and put their hope in Him.  But abandon almighty God and that fortress is instantly destroyed.  The Bible says,]

[Deuteronomy 7:9-11 9 Know therefore that the LORD thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations; 10 And repayeth them that hate him to their face, to destroy them: he will not be slack to him that hateth him, he will repay him to his face. 11 Thou shalt therefore keep the commandments, and the statutes, and the judgments, which I command thee this day, to do them.]

[The Culture Around Us – Just look around our community, and you need not look vary far, there are many godless in our neighborhoods, workplaces, schools, and markets.  They deny the one true God, they seem to have an abundance of stuff, outwardly they often seem to be happy, but you do not need to know them for very long to discover just how miserable they really are.  They have no hope for the future in this life, they have no hope for the future in eternal life, and they are living in uncertainty and misery.  It sometimes appears that they are happy, but those are merely appearances.  Do not be deceived my friends, there is only one fortress of strength, hope and joy in this life and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.]

[Parents and children alike, embrace the fortress of the Lord Jesus Christ in your life and home and you will come to know the successful home and family God wants you to have.]

 

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