[How important is your family?
How important is your family to God?
How important is your family to our culture?]
[Home as a Refuge]
[Dr. Lyman Abbott once said:]
["Blessed is the man whose home is a real refuge! who, being
tossed to and fro on the waves of a tumultuous and combative sea throughout the
day, leaves his office, his business perplexities behind him, and when he opens
the door and enters the house, enters the landlocked harbor. But the home ought
not to be a refuge for the husband and the father only, but we who are husbands
and fathers ought to make it a refuge for the wives and mothers as well. They
have their cares also, and when we come to our homes we ought to come bringing
with us such a spirit as shall exorcise these cares and make home their refuge."]
[It seems in our contemporary culture that homes are anything
but a harbor of rest. But they
should be. Our evil world will lay
may opinions concerning your home and family upon you.
If there is anything our world shouts at us about our family’s it is that
they are unnecessary. But, Almighty
God is the one who created families and He has a definite plan a purpose for the
home. Today we will seek to discover
God’s plan for the Family.]
[Recently, I was listening to Christian radio and I heard a
Rabbi talking about the Jewish teachings and Hebrew language about the family.
This Rabbi stated that contemporary families have lost the ancient
teachings concerning what families ought to be.
He said that the old Jewish traditions concerning the family and the old
Hebrew meaning of the word family meant and taught
“service.” Families were
all about service and servanthood.
Hence, Husband’s ought to selflessly serve their wives.
Wives ought to selflessly serve their husband’s.
Parents ought to selflessly serve their children.
Children ought to selflessly serve their families.
All of which will lead to a culture that seeks to serve one another.]
[In comparing these comments to the Bible and the teachings of
Christ we discover dynamic support for this rabbi’s position.
And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any
man desire to be first, the same
shall be last of all, and servant of all.]
But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among
you, let him be your minister; 27
And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:
28 Even as the Son of man came not to be
ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.]
[The greatest Joys we will experience in our lives will be the joy
we experience when we serve others.
Hence, our families need to redevelop the heart of servanthood.
Our homes will never be as intimate and as caring as when the members of
the home strive to care and care for one another.
This same spirit of selfless service will not only transform our home but
it will transform our culture as people renew the heart and spirit of service in
every aspect of their lives.]
[So, today we focus ourselves upon the family.
Do you know what you believe about the family?
What does God desire for your home?]
[Let us discover:]
Plan For The Family [– Even before the fall of Adam and Eve, God had a plan
for the family.]
Companionship Provided (Gen 2.18, 21-25) [- The Bible reveals that God
created Adam and placed him in the Garden of Eden and then said,]
. . . It is not
good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.]
[Genesis 2:21-25 21 And the
LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of
his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the LORD God had
taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This
is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be
called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were
not ashamed. ]
[God formed Eve
out of Adam and then presented Eve to Adam.
The picture is meant to express the kind of relationship Adam and Eve
were intended to have.
God wanted them to have
a relationship of intimacy, belonging, and unity.
They were to recognize that they were a part of one another and important
to one another. Their companionship
would comfort and encourage the couple as they walk through the Garden of Eden.
They were perfect people, in a perfect place, with a perfect
provision, walking in a perfect presence.]
Coupling Purposed (Gen 2.24; Matt 19.4-6) [– An inseparable union.]
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall
cleave unto his
wife: and they shall be one flesh.]
[Matthew 19:4-6 4 And he
answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made
them at the beginning made them
male and female, 5 And said, For
this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave to his
wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6 Wherefore they are no more twain,
but one flesh.
God hath joined together,
let not man put asunder.]
- God uses the word cleave to describe the union He intends for a husband and a
wife. This word provides the picture
of a two part glue being mixed together to provide the kind of bond that can
never again be separated. Once the
two parts of that glue are combined the can never be separated again.]
[God’s plan is
that a man and woman should come together in a covenant marriage relationship
and that their marriage should endure through the duration of their lives.]
Compassion Promised (1 Cor 13.1-8) [– The love of God in the tie that
will bind husband’s and wives together.
This love is described as,]
1 Though I speak with the tongues of men
and of angels, and have not charity, I am become
as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have
the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all
knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and
have not charity, I am nothing. 3
And though I bestow all my goods to feed
the poor, and though I give my
body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
4 Charity suffereth long,
and is kind; charity envieth
not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all
things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8
Charity never faileth: . . .]
[The love described in the love chapter (1 Cor 13) is
not the worlds kind of love. This is
a unique love provided to born again Christian by the indwelling presence of God
within them. It is God divine
provision so that God’s divine plan for the family can be fully realized among
[Your Heavenly Father, through the redemption provided
by our Lord Jesus Christ, has placed this supernatural love with in you.
It is already presence within each and every born again Christian.]
realize this love of God is in you?
Most in our Christian churches know what this passage states, by they do
not really believe it applies to them.]
nurture this love of God to maturity within you?
Until you realize what God has put in you and seek to allow it to grow
and present itself through you, it will remain dormant in you.
The greatest evidence of spiritual immaturity (carnality) in God’s people
is the lacking characteristic of God’s love pouring from their lives.
This is never more evident than it is in your marriage and home.]
Plan For The Family [- Just as God has a glorious purpose and plan for the
family, the devil has a devouring plan for the family as well.]
To Separate (Gen 3.1;
1 Tim 2.13-15)
[– Early in the Bible we discover Satan’s dastardly work upon the family.
That old serpent waits until Adam and Eve are separated and he jumps upon
the opportunity. Notice, how he
talked to Eve,]
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which
the LORD God had made.
And he said unto the
woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the
adversary knows the strength and clearness of thought that accompanies unity and
companionship. So, his devouring
plan and purpose is the divide and conquer marriages, families, and communities.
He tempts and deceives Eve while Adam is away.
We know this because the Bible states,]
1 Timothy 2:13-15 13 For Adam
was first formed, then Eve. 14
And Adam was not
deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in
childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Eve when she stood alone. He divided
and conquered Adam and Eve in numerous ways according to the Genesis account,]
Divided Eve By Separation - He approached Eve when she was alone, when she
was separated from Adam’s companionship and counsel.
You might think you are strong enough to stand on your own, but that is
just one of the Devils divisive methods.]
Divided Eve By Sin - In
getting Eve to rebel against God Satan conquered Eve in two regards,]
separated from God – Eve’s glorious relationship with almighty God was
severed and she was condemned to die physically and spiritually as a result.]
separated from Adam – If Adam did not eat of the forbidden fruit then Eve
would have been condemned alone and God’s plan for the family and His creation
was over. Lucifer would have
succeeded in destroying eternally the family of Adam and Eve.]
need to understand that the destruction of your family is a part of Satan’s
purpose and plan for your family.
God intends to unify your marriage and your home, Satan intends to
destroy and devour your home. Who is
prevailing in your family.]
To Sever (Eph 5.28-32) [- Satan desires to handicap God by
handicapping God’s body (The Church) by handicapping the home and thus
destroying the foundation of any godly society.
Satan proposes to do this devouring and destroying the family.
Hence, we are reminded in Scripture,]
28 So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it,
even as the Lord the church: 30
For we are members of
his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one
flesh. 32 This is a great mystery:
but I speak concerning Christ and the church.]
[Satan’s desires to devour your family and home by
amputating your relationship with your spouse.
Lucifer will lead you to believe that you would be better off without
your husband or your wife. Satan’s
will send his advocates to convince you that you should just divorce that
scoundrel you married and if you do then Satan has gained a victory by dividing
your home through a surgical amputation.]
[It never ceases to surprise me who will give people
the counsel of divorce,]
[Godly parents will counsel their children to
seek a divorce.]
[Good friends and co-workers will counsel people
to just get a divorce]
[I have even heard of pastors counseling people
to seek a divorce.]
[God’s plan is not that your home should be divided.
This why God says,]
. . . What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put
[God intends for
your family to be unified, joined together.
It is Satan’s plan and purpose to divide and sever your family.
Now, some of you here
are already divorced and in many cases remarried.
The devil will try to jump all over you right now and will try to
convince you that you can never again be used by God because of your broken
marriage. You just recognize what
God desires for your current marriage, ask God to forgive you for the first
broken home, and seek God’s blessing in the marriage you are current engaged in.
But don’t you let Lucifer get the upper hand on you in this marriage.
God will still bring you into His glorious plan for the family in your
current marriage if you will seek it with diligence.
Scripture’s Plan For The Family (1 Peter 3.7) [- Having a marriage,
family, and home like the one God purposes for all of His born again children is
not only possible, it is promised by God.
But, all of us live in a sinful and evil world; one with an adversary who
relentlessly works to divide and destroy everything that our Heavenly Father has
provided. God has revealed,
repeatedly throughout Scripture, what both husband’s and wives must do to
realized God’s purpose and plan for our families.
The question is,
“Do you really want the
kind of family God has planned for you?”]
[The answer is, “Of course!”]
[Let’s look at one Scripture, of the many available, that
reveals how God’s plan for the family can be fully realized.
Now, this Scripture is clearly directed toward us men, but husband’s and
wives alike had better hear it clearly and hear it personally or God’s intended
plan for your family will only meet with our adversaries destruction.
No man can bring His family into the blessedness of God’s promises
without the full, selfless, and sacrificial cooperation of his wife.
Nor can a woman. There must
be the cooperative, unified, passionate participation of both the husband and
wife, and when there is God’s glory
is the result.]
[The passage reads:]
[1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with
them according to knowledge,
giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs
together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.]
Passionately Present [- . . .
according to knowledge, . . . – No relationship can long endure physical or
psychological isolation. It is my
opinion that a relationship will endure longer through a physical separation
than it will a psychological separation.
Husband’s and wives must be purposefully present in their marriage
relationship if their marriage is going to reflect God plan for the family.]
[Husband’s and wives must spend purposeful time
together. They must plan regular and
bountiful times in each others company.
This is not only true
between husbands and wives but it is necessary between fathers and their
children and mothers and their children.]
Spouses – In our culture of prosperity and entertainment we have spouses and
their children who live in the same houses by are nothing more than strangers
who live in the same house. Most
homes have a television is each room of the house; I even worked in one house
that had a television in its bathroom.
In many homes there are computers in each room of the house.
Since we no longer like to watch the same programs together the result is
that each person in the family goes into their own room and watches what they
want to watch. While this does not
seem all that bad, it has worked to alienated families from each other.]
[I am not saying you should just go home and get rid of
all your technological devices. I am
not trying to demonize your TV’s and computer’s, instead I am trying to say that
you cannot isolate yourself from your family and have the home God purposes for
you to have.
You must dwell with each
Purposed Families – A family that will realize the incredible wonder of
God’s plan for the family must
to be together. Father’s and
mother’s must lead the way. There
could be and should be,]
[Purposeful Spiritual Training for
the family. Time spent in God’s
Word together as a family.]
[Purposeful Focused Time for the family.
Time spent being in each others company.
Sharing with each other. Laughing with each other.
Growing with each other.]
[I already know the problem people face.
They think, hear, and say, “I’m bored.”
Isn’t it sad that we have lost the value of being purposefully together.
God’s word teaches us that if we would experience the wonder of what God
has planned for the family then we must be Passionately Present.
We must learn anew how
to dwell together.
Purposefully Positive (Eph
5.33) [- . . . giving honour unto the
wife, as unto the weaker vessel, . . . – Honor, respect and love are all
marks of a healthy God centered relationship.
I am reminded of the Song of Solomon and the relationship presented in
that book of the Bible. Solomon and
the Shulamite woman had nothing but kind and enduring words to say about each
other. Christain’s who would live in
the kind of home that God has purposed for the family must learn to talk with
and about each other in purposefully positive language.]
Love and Protect their wives – Husband’s must learn to love their wives and
honor their wives in encouraging ways.]
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in
particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife
see that she reverence
[Men must love their wives as they love their own
bodies. How do we demonstrate love
for our own bodies? By taking care
of our selves. If we get hurt we
mend our wound. If we get hungry we
feed ourselves. If we get stinky we
wash ourselves or at least we should.
The point is we take some time and care for ourselves.]
[For most men, showing the kind of care and love that
our wives need does not come naturally; it is learned behavior.
It is something that men must purpose to do.
But, if you develop the habit if caring affectionately for your wife, the
benefits are incalculable. Husband’s
who are purposefully positive toward their wives will find themselves developing
the kind of family that God has plan for them.]
Must Honor and Respect their husbands]
11 The heart of her husband doth safely
trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.]
absolutely sure that you never dishonor, disrespect, or disregard your husband.
Especially when you feel hurt or angry toward your husband.
Leave any spirit of vengeance at home.
There will be times that you feel your husband is not treating you right,
you keep that between you and your husband.}
Punitive – To many marriage relationships have become Purposefully Punitive
rather than Purposefully Positive.
Husbands and Wives have decided the justice toward their spouse is more
important than their unity in life.
Instead of being quick to forgive and maintain a wholesome relationship they
both harbor hurt and bitterness in their hearts and, in essence, say, “I’ll show Him
or Her, boy am I going to make you miserable!”
[You will never
be more like the devil and less like your Savior than when you work to divide
your marriage and your home.]
Peculiar (Eph 5.32) [- . .
. as being heirs together of the grace of
life; that your prayers be not hindered.]
[Marriage is more than our world’s mere civil union.
Marriage for a Christian is supposed to be a reflection of the dynamic
union between our Lord Jesus Christ and His Church.]
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak
concerning Christ and the church.]
[Your marriage is supposed to demonstrate the
incredible union that every born again Christian can have with their Lord and
Savior. But today, many marriages
are a reflection of the brokenness of the relationship between Christ and His
[In many homes,]
[Love has been replaced by indifference.]
[Harmony has been replaced with disputes.]
[Commitment has been replaced with immorality.
For some this means adultery, for many it means fleshly lust entertained
through programming, pornography, or other devastating desires that destroy
relationships, intimacy, and the home.]
[Christian need to recognize God’s Plan For The Family
which is relentlessly attacked by our adversary, the Devil.
You can have a home that realizes the harmony and joy that your Heavenly
Father intends for you. But if you
will have a home blessed by God, then you must passionately pursue it with
[Where is your home today?]
[What does your home reflect?]
[Will you have a Profoundly Peculiar Christian marriage
Church, Oct 12, 2008