Six times in Matthew chapter five Jesus says, Ye have heard that it was said . . . (vs 21, 27, 31, 33, 38, 43) – In saying this Jesus reveals six areas where the heart is more important than the heal:] 

·        [Murder (vs 21-26) - The Heat of your heart]

·        [Adultery (Matt 5.27-30) - The Health of your heart]

·        [Divorce (Matt 5.31-32) - The Harnessing of your heart.]

·        [Integrity/Honesty (Matt 5.33-37) - The Home of your heart.]

·        [Revenge (Matt 5.38-42) - The Hurtles of your heart]

·        [Loving your enemies (Matt 5.43-48) The Harbor of your heart]

 [Last week we looked at what our Lord said about adultery and how adultery and every other sin finds its origin within your heart.  I remind you again, the content of your heart is guided by your thinking, your thinking is impacted by what you see and hear, and your actions pour out of who you really are (your heart).  Resist with determination and diligence the idea that the programs you watch, the internet you view, the people who are around you and the music you listen to does not influence your thinking and your heart.  They do!] 

[Having studied God’s Word concerning adultery and its source, Our Lord now takes us to the obvious next step, divorce.] 

[What happens if a husband or wife devastates their family, home, church, and community with adultery?  Divorce seems like one of the first considerations.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your sin, any sin, especially adultery does not impact a multitude of people and even influence our culture.  It does?  Your relationship with your spouse will never be the same again.  Your relationship with your children will never be the same again.  Your community and our culture will never be the same again.  The greatest consequence of your adultery, and any sin, will be that all those around you will never look at God the same way again.  Consider what is happening across America and has already happened in many western cultures.  There is a perplexing and permeating departure from God and the things of God.  Why?  Because people love their sin more than God and want to justify their actions rather than admit their sin and repent.] 

[A Disclaimer – Someone is listening to this message and you are already divorced and in some cases already remarried.  I am going to preach what God’s Word says concerning divorce.  If you are married, second time, third time, or whatever, I am not telling you to go get a divorce and go back to your first spouse.  You are where you are and you apply God’s principles to your current marriage.  If God convicts you about a divorce you have had then ask Him to forgive you and move on with your life.  What already is, is already done.  If you are considering a divorce you need to hear this message and God’s Word for your marriage.] 

What Jesus Says About Divorce And Your Heart 

A.     A Culture of Divorce (vs 31) [- It hath been said, that  whosoever shall. . . – People often make the mistake of thinking that our culture is far more advanced then the culture of Jesus day, but when it comes to morality and truth, there really isn’t much difference between the two cultures.  This is especially true when it comes to the issue of Divorce.  The things people were taught and thought about divorce in the day of our Lord are similar to what people think and feel today.  Jesus deals directly with those teachings and thoughts.  There were,] 

1.      [The Rabbinic Responses - How religion struggles with divorce and family matters.] 

a.       [Sadducees - If your wife displeases you divorce her.  Burning the toast at breakfast could be a cause for divorce.  Divorce was allowed for any cause.  If you want a divorce just go get one.] 

b.      [Pharisees - One may divorce his wife only for the sake of sexual immorality.  The marriage covenant was far more sacred to the Pharisees.] 

2.      [The Reasonable Response - What does society think.  Society says, I ought to be happy.] 

[Illustration: A famous female Christian singer announced that she was going to divorce her husband.  When asked how she justified her decision in light of God's Word, she said, "I believe and trust that I've been released from this [marriage].  And I say that knowing that even the Bible says the heart is deceitful . . . to the best of my level of peace, I had a very settled, unshakable feeling about the path that I was going to follow."  In other words, God had released her in her heart.] [Amy Grant, http://www.family.org/cforum/citizen/citizenmag/coverstory/a0011624.cfm] 

[God will never go against His written Word to make you feel good in disobedience.  Happiness has a short life span in comparison to the heartfelt joy that accompanies God’s purposes and plans.] 

3.      [A Resilient Resolve - That the covenant is more than any individual.  Marriage is not just a mortal contract it is a supernatural covenant with God.] 

a.       [A man is only as good as his word.] 

b.      [The vows.  For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.] 

[The Culture our Lord was speaking to was a culture of worldliness and divorce, just as our culture is today.  But our Lord singles out this culture and in essence declares there is a better way, which is God’s way.  Jesus said, Ye have heard that is has been said . . . I ask you what have you heard?] 

B.     The Cultivating Of Divorce [– Where does divorce come from?  Obviously divorce pours out of some kind of discord within a marriage relationship.  The devil jumps upon our disagreements and convinces us that we will be better off without that lousy scoundrel of a spouse.  It seems that the grass is always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but we all know from experience that it rarely is.] 

1.      A Willful Greed (James 4.1-4; Matt 19.8) [- Selfishness and pride are the root causes of almost all sin.  Some disagreement occurs in the marriage and one or both parties decide that they deserve better.  Where do such disagreements come from?  James wrote,] 

[James 4:1-4 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. ] 

[Jesus said,] 

[Matthew 19:3-9 ³ The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? ⁴ And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, ⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? ⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. ⁷ They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? ⁸ He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. ⁹ And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. ]

[Say what you will, the root of divorce is a hard or selfish heart.]

2.      A Wandering Gaze (vs 28) [- But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.  - If you allow your eyes to wander into forbidden territory then you are setting your self up for a fall.  You are walking into one of the most obvious traps.  A selfish hardened heart looks out and about, but fails to look into the Word of God.] 

C.     The Causes for Divorce (vs  32; 1 Cor 7.10-17) [- Consider what Jesus said about divorce.]  There are two Biblical causes for divorce, 

1.      For Abominations (vs 32) [– Notice that our Lord specifies fornication rather than adultery.  Fornication is Sexual immorality.  Fornication indicates a lifestyle of sexual immorality.] 

[Fornication – πορνείας (Gk) - porneías, fem. noun from porneúō (4203), to commit fornication or any sexual sin. Fornication, lewdness, or any sexual sin.
   Any sexual sin; coupled with moicheía (3430), adultery (Mark 7:21), and other sins (Rom. 1:29). Used generally to refer to any sexual sin (1 Cor. 6:13, 18; 7:2; 2 Cor. 12:21; Gal. 5:19; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3; Rev. 9:21). In John 8:41, “We be not born of fornication” means, “We are not spurious children, born of a concubine, but are the true descendants of Abraham” (a.t. [Sept: Gen. 38:24; Hos. 1:2]). Specifically of adultery (Matt. 5:32; 19:9); of incest (1 Cor. 5:1). Porneía may also refer to marriages within the degrees prohibited by the Law of Moses and generally to all such intercourse as prohibited in that Law (cf. Lev. 18; 20:10ff.).
   II. Symbolically it stands for idolatry, the forsaking of the true God in order to worship idols. Since God is said to be married to His Church through Christ, then any idolatry is unfaithfulness toward God equal to sexual unfaithfulness to one’s marriage partner (Rev. 2:21; 14:8; 17:2, 4; 18:3; 19:2; Sept: Jer. 3:9; Ezek. 16:15, 22; 23:27; Hos. 2:2; 4:12).^[1]]  

a.       [In the Classical Greek sense the Greek word for fornication referred to the sex cults of the Greek mythological temples.  It referred to the unfettered sexual escapades found within these temples.  ] 

b.      [Fornication means a lot more than Adultery.  Why is it important to understand the difference between fornication and adultery?  Because of God’s heart concerning the covenant of marriage.  Jesus said, and as we turn to this passage I remind you that in our text our Lord said time and again, Ye have heard that it is said . . . ] 

[Mark 10:2-12 ² And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. ³ And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? ⁴ And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. ⁵ And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. ⁶ But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. ⁷ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; ⁸ And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. ⁹ What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. ¹⁰ And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. ¹¹ And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. ¹² And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. ]

c.       [God’s heart is that when a man and a woman enter into a covenant marriage relationship they should stay in that marriage relationship.] 

d.      [Can there be restoration after adultery? ]  

(1)   [Yes. Hosea is our example of sacrifice in a marriage relationship.  His wife became a sexual priestest in one of the fertility temples.  When she was all used up Hosea bought her form the auction block.  Hosea is an example of how God seeks us and how we should seek each other.] 

(2)   [The goal is restoration, to the extreme of personal sacrifice.] 

(3)   [Better than restoration is to lack the need for restoration, Joseph’s example is far better than that one would need Hosea’s example.  Just don’t do it in the first place.] 

2.      For Abandonment (1 Cor 7.10-17; 2 Cor 6.14-17) [- When the lost departs.] 

[1 Cor. 7:10-17 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. ] 

[It seems obvious that Paul is talking about someone who is married and gets saved but their spouse does not.  Then so long as the lost spouse is pleased to dwell with this new Christian then the Christian is not to divorce their spouse.  But if the spouse decides that they are not going to put up with these new Christian standards then this Christian is not bound, and when Paul says not bound I believe he is speaking specifically to the issue of remarriage for this New Christian.] 

[Do not marry a lost person –  It is important to realize that a Christian has no allowance by God to divorce their lost spouse.  Hence, to marry a lost person is treacherous for any Christian.  This is ridiculous to our culture, but every Christian needs to hear this, since you cannot marry a lost person you should not date a lost person and you should ask a person of their spiritual state in a none leading way before you ever begin to enter into a relationship with them.  The Bible states,] 

[2 Cor. 6:14-17 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, ] 

[I believe that this command applies to dating, business partnerships and a host of other legally binding arrangements.] 

[Abusive people are abandoning people - They are not pleased to dwell with you if they are beating you up and putting your life in danger.] 

D.    Christ And Divorce (Matt 19.10-12; 1 Cor 7.1-9) [- Our Lord reveals the heart of God concerning divorce and what our Lord teaches is clearly based upon the character of God.  God is opposed to divorce not just because He says divorce is wrong but because divorce violates who God is.] 

[Matthew 19:10-12 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 12For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.]  

[1 Corinthians 7:1-9 ¹ Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. ² Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. ⁴ The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. ⁵ Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. ⁶ But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. ⁷ For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. ⁸ I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. ⁹ But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.]

[God made mankind for union and unity.  The union of a man with his wife and the union of a person with their God.  There are two things to note about God’s character and the union of marriage.]

1.      The Unity Of Marriage (Matt 19.5) [- And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? – To cleave to one’s wife speaks of being glued to ones wife, hence the word cleave is combined with the idea of one flesh.  Hence there is a unity that is meant to be realized through the covenant marriage relationship.] 

2.      The Triunity Of God (1 John 5.7; John 17.20-23) [– Marriage matters to God because the union of marriage is a reflection of the character of God and the unity found in God.  The Bible reveals that God is a trinity.] 

[1 John 5:7 ⁷ For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. ] 

[John 17:20-23 ²⁰ Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; ²¹ That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. ²² And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: ²³ I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.] 

[God hates divorce because divorce stands in opposition to the very character of God.  Since God is all about unity, then what does God want for your marriage and your family?  God wants there to be,] 

a.      [Unity in your marriage and family.] 

b.      [Harmony in your marriage and family.] 

c.       [Integrity in your marriage and family.] 

d.      [Purity in your marriage and family.] 

e.      [Vitality in your marriage and family.] 

[Wouldn’t it be great if your marriage experienced each of these wonderful qualities and more!  Someone here are thinking, well that has never happened in my home and probably won’t.  And your right, would you like to know why?  It won’t happen because you have already convinced yourself that it can’t happen and instead of nurturing what God wants your home to be you are actually hindering God’s will for your home.  You need to change your heart and mind about your marriage and your home.]