Six times in
Matthew chapter five Jesus says,
Ye have heard
that it was said . . . (vs 21, 27, 31, 33, 38, 43) – In saying this
Jesus reveals six areas where the heart is more important than the heal:]
[Murder (vs 21-26) - The Heat of your heart]
[Adultery (Matt 5.27-30) - The Health of your
[Divorce (Matt 5.31-32) - The Harnessing of your
[Integrity/Honesty (Matt 5.33-37) - The Home of
[Revenge (Matt 5.38-42) - The Hurtles of your
[Loving your enemies (Matt 5.43-48) The Harbor of
[Last week we looked at what our Lord said about
adultery and how adultery and every other sin finds its origin within your
heart. I remind you again, the
content of your heart is guided by your thinking, your thinking is impacted by
what you see and hear, and your actions pour out of who you really are (your
heart). Resist with determination
and diligence the idea that the programs you watch, the internet you view, the
people who are around you and the music you listen to does not influence your
thinking and your heart. They do!]
[Having studied God’s Word concerning adultery and its source,
Our Lord now takes us to the obvious next step, divorce.]
[What happens if a husband or wife devastates their family,
home, church, and community with adultery?
Divorce seems like one of the first considerations.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your sin, any sin, especially
adultery does not impact a multitude of people and even influence our culture.
It does? Your relationship
with your spouse will never be the same again.
Your relationship with your children will never be the same again.
Your community and our culture will never be the same again.
The greatest consequence of your adultery, and any sin, will be that all
those around you will never look at God the same way again.
Consider what is happening across America and has
already happened in many western cultures.
There is a perplexing and permeating departure from God and the things of
Because people love their sin more than God and want to justify their
actions rather than admit their sin and repent.]
[A Disclaimer –
Someone is listening to this message and you are already divorced and in some
cases already remarried. I am going
to preach what God’s Word says concerning divorce.
If you are married, second time, third time, or whatever, I am not
telling you to go get a divorce and go back to your first spouse.
You are where you are and you apply God’s principles to your current
marriage. If God convicts you about
a divorce you have had then ask Him to forgive you and move on with your life.
What already is, is already done.
If you are considering a divorce you need to hear this message and God’s
Word for your marriage.]
What Jesus Says About
Divorce And Your Heart
A Culture of Divorce (vs 31)
[- It hath been said, that whosoever
shall. . . – People often
make the mistake of thinking that our culture is far more advanced then the
culture of Jesus day, but when it comes to morality and truth, there really
isn’t much difference between the two cultures.
This is especially true when it comes to the issue of Divorce.
The things people were taught and thought about divorce in the day of our
Lord are similar to what people think and feel today.
Jesus deals directly with those teachings and thoughts.
Rabbinic Responses - How religion struggles with divorce and family
If your wife displeases you divorce her.
Burning the toast at breakfast could be a cause for divorce.
Divorce was allowed for any cause.
If you want a divorce just go get one.]
One may divorce his wife only for the sake of sexual immorality.
The marriage covenant was far more sacred to the Pharisees.]
Reasonable Response - What does society think.
Society says, I ought to be happy.]
[Illustration: A famous female Christian singer
announced that she was going to divorce her husband.
When asked how she justified her decision in light of God's Word, she
said, "I believe and trust that I've been released from this [marriage].
And I say that knowing that even the Bible says the heart is deceitful .
to the best of my level
of peace, I had a very settled, unshakable feeling about the path that I was
going to follow." In
other words, God had released her in her heart.]
[God will never go against His written Word to make
you feel good in disobedience.
Happiness has a short life span in comparison to the heartfelt joy that
accompanies God’s purposes and plans.]
Resolve - That the covenant is more than any individual.
Marriage is not just a mortal contract it is a supernatural covenant with
[A man is only as good as his word.]
For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.]
[The Culture our Lord was speaking to was a culture of
worldliness and divorce, just as our culture is today.
But our Lord singles out this culture and in essence declares there is a
better way, which is God’s way.
Jesus said, Ye have heard that is has
been said . . . I ask you what have you heard?]
The Cultivating Of Divorce
[– Where does divorce come from?
Obviously divorce pours out of some kind of discord within a marriage
relationship. The devil jumps upon
our disagreements and convinces us that we will be better off without that lousy
scoundrel of a spouse. It seems
that the grass is always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but we
all know from experience that it rarely is.]
Greed (James 4.1-4; Matt 19.8) [- Selfishness and pride are the root causes
of almost all sin. Some
disagreement occurs in the marriage and one or both parties decide that they
deserve better. Where do such
disagreements come from?
From whence come wars and
fightings among you? come they
even of your
lusts that war in your members?
lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and
war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume
it upon your lusts.
and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is
enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy
of God. ]
3 The Pharisees also came unto him,
tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife
for every cause? 4 And he answered
and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made
them at the beginning made them
male and female, 5 And said, For
this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife:
and they twain shall be one flesh? 6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder. 7
They say unto him, Why
did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8 He saith unto them,
Moses because of the
hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the
beginning it was not so. 9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except
it be for fornication, and
shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery. ]
[Say what you
will, the root of divorce is a hard or selfish heart.]
Wandering Gaze (vs 28) [- But I
say unto you,
That whosoever looketh
on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his
heart. - If you allow your eyes
to wander into forbidden territory then you are setting your self up for a fall.
You are walking into one of the most obvious traps.
A selfish hardened heart looks out and about, but fails to look into the
Word of God.]
The Causes for Divorce (vs
32; 1 Cor 7.10-17) [-
Consider what Jesus said about divorce.]
There are two Biblical causes for divorce,
Abominations (vs 32) [– Notice that our Lord specifies fornication
rather than adultery. Fornication
is Sexual immorality. Fornication
indicates a lifestyle of sexual immorality.]
πορνείας (Gk) -
fem. noun from
porneúō (4203), to commit fornication or any sexual sin. Fornication,
lewdness, or any sexual sin.
Any sexual sin; coupled with
(3430), adultery (Mark 7:21), and other sins (Rom. 1:29). Used generally to
refer to any sexual sin (1 Cor. 6:13, 18; 7:2; 2 Cor. 12:21; Gal. 5:19; Eph.
5:3; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3; Rev. 9:21). In John 8:41, “We be not born of
fornication” means, “We are not spurious children, born of a concubine, but are
the true descendants of Abraham” (a.t. [Sept: Gen. 38:24; Hos. 1:2]).
Specifically of adultery (Matt. 5:32; 19:9); of incest (1 Cor. 5:1).
also refer to marriages within the degrees prohibited by the Law of Moses and
generally to all such intercourse as prohibited in that Law (cf. Lev. 18;
II. Symbolically it stands
for idolatry, the forsaking of the true God in order to worship idols. Since God
is said to be married to His Church through Christ, then any idolatry is
unfaithfulness toward God equal to sexual unfaithfulness to one’s marriage
partner (Rev. 2:21; 14:8; 17:2, 4; 18:3; 19:2; Sept: Jer. 3:9; Ezek. 16:15, 22;
23:27; Hos. 2:2; 4:12).]
[In the Classical Greek
sense the Greek word for fornication
referred to the sex cults of the Greek mythological temples.
It referred to the unfettered sexual escapades found within these
[Fornication means a lot
more than Adultery. Why
is it important to understand the difference between fornication and adultery?
Because of God’s heart concerning the covenant of marriage.
Jesus said, and as we turn to this passage I remind you that in our text
our Lord said time and again, Ye have heard that it is said . . . ]
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and
asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away
his wife? tempting him.
3 And he answered and said unto them,
What did Moses command you? 4 And
they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put
And Jesus answered
and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.
6 But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. 7
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his
And they twain shall be
one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder.
10 And in the house his disciples asked
him again of the same matter.
11 And he saith unto them,
Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery
against her. 12 And if a woman
shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
[God’s heart is that when a man and a woman enter into a
covenant marriage relationship they should stay in that marriage relationship.]
be restoration after adultery? ]
Hosea is our
example of sacrifice in a marriage relationship.
His wife became a sexual priestest in one of the fertility temples.
When she was all used up Hosea bought her form the auction block.
Hosea is an example of how God seeks us and how we should seek each
[The goal is restoration, to the extreme of personal
[Better than restoration is to lack the need for restoration,
Joseph’s example is far better than that one would need Hosea’s example.
Just don’t do it in the first place.]
Abandonment (1 Cor 7.10-17; 2 Cor 6.14-17) [- When the lost departs.]
7:10-17 And unto the married I
command, yet not I, but the
Lord, Let not the wife depart from her
11But and if she
depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to
her husband: and let not the
husband put away his wife.
12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord:
If any brother hath a
wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him,
let him not put her
13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be
pleased to dwell with her,
let her not leave him.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the
unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean;
but now are they holy.
15But if the
unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is
not under bondage
in such cases: but God hath
called us to peace.
16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save
thy husband? or how knowest
thou, O man, whether thou shalt save
17But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every
one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. ]
[It seems obvious that Paul is talking about someone
who is married and gets saved but their spouse does not.
Then so long as the lost spouse is pleased to dwell with this new
Christian then the Christian is not to divorce their spouse.
But if the spouse decides that they are not going to put up with these
new Christian standards then this Christian is not bound, and when Paul says not
bound I believe he is speaking specifically to the issue of remarriage for this
[Do not marry a
lost person – It is important
to realize that a Christian has no allowance by God to divorce their lost
spouse. Hence, to marry a lost
person is treacherous for any Christian.
This is ridiculous to our culture, but every Christian needs to hear
since you cannot marry a
lost person you should not date a lost person and you should ask a person of
their spiritual state in a none leading way before you ever begin to enter into
a relationship with them.
The Bible states,]
Be ye not unequally
yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath
righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that
believeth with an infidel?
16And what agreement hath the
of God with idols? for ye
are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and
walk in them; and I will be
their God, and they shall be my people.
17Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord,
and touch not the unclean thing;
and I will receive you, ]
that this command applies to dating, business partnerships and a host of other
legally binding arrangements.]
people are abandoning people - They are not pleased to dwell with you
if they are beating you up and putting your life in danger.]
Christ And Divorce (Matt 19.10-12; 1 Cor
7.1-9) [- Our Lord reveals the
heart of God concerning divorce and what our Lord teaches is clearly based upon
the character of God. God is
opposed to divorce not just because He says divorce is wrong but because divorce
violates who God is.]
His disciples say unto him,
If the case of the man
be so with his wife, it is not
good to marry.
he said unto them, All men
cannot receive this saying, save they
to whom it is given.
there are some eunuchs, which were so born from
their mother's womb: and there
are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which
have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able
to receive it, let him receive
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye
wrote unto me: It is good for a
man not to touch a woman. 2
Nevertheless, to avoid
fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own
husband. 3 Let the husband render
unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own
body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own
body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye
not one the other, except it be
with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and
come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission,
and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as
I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and
another after that. 8 I say
therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as
I. 9 But if they cannot contain,
let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.]
[God made mankind for
union and unity. The union of a man
with his wife and the union of a person with their God.
There are two things to note about God’s character and the union of
Of Marriage (Matt 19.5) [- And said,
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave
to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? – To
cleave to one’s wife speaks of being glued to ones wife, hence the word cleave
is combined with the idea of one flesh.
Hence there is a unity that is meant to be realized through the covenant
Triunity Of God (1 John 5.7; John 17.20-23) [– Marriage matters to God
because the union of marriage is a reflection of the character of God and the
unity found in God. The Bible
reveals that God is a trinity.]
[1 John 5:7
For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the
Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one. ]
20 Neither pray I for these alone, but
for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
21 That they all may be one; as thou,
Father, art in me, and I in
thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast
sent me. 22 And the glory which
thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one:
23 I in them, and thou in me, that they
may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me,
and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.]
divorce because divorce stands in opposition to the very character of God.
Since God is all about unity, then what does God want for your marriage
and your family?
God wants there to be,]
your marriage and family.]
your marriage and family.]
in your marriage and family.]
your marriage and family.]
your marriage and family.]
[Wouldn’t it be great if your marriage experienced each
of these wonderful qualities and more!
Someone here are thinking, well that has never happened in my home and
probably won’t. And your right,
would you like to know why? It
won’t happen because you have already convinced yourself that it can’t happen
and instead of nurturing what God wants your home to be you are actually
hindering God’s will for your home.
You need to change your heart and mind about your marriage and your home.]