Beyond Comprehension

The Heart Of The Home

Eph 5.21-33

Part 1 - The Wife of the Home

Part 2 - The Husband of the Home

Part 3 - The Integrity of the Home (Divorce & Separation)

[Red Oak, Iowa, is situated in a valley. The railroad station is upon a hill. Standing on the platform of the railroad station you can look down and see all the homes in one easy glance.]

[On one occasion I was talking to a little girl who was standing there and, not knowing her well at all, I said: "Tell me which one of these houses you live in." The sun was shining brightly, flickering through the trees and on the houses, and she answered: "You mean the house that I live in? I live in a home."]

["Yes," I said, "but what's the difference?" "Well," she replied, "the sun shines on a house, but it shines in a home."] [-Robert E. Edgar] 

["While it may be true that marriage is made in heaven, one needs to realize they must be managed on earth and are often marred from hell."] [Mike Minnix, Marriage With A Mission] 

[Someone said that all marriages are happy, it's the living together afterwards that is tough! ]

[Marriage can double your trouble and divide your joy, or double your joy and divide your trouble. ] 

[Moving parts always cause friction. The key is to keep the friction down with the oil of love.] 

[In this last part of Ephesians Chapter Five, God reveals to us through Paul, how to have the light of Jesus shinning in our homes.  God is describing a Christian home for us.] 

Notice what Ephesians reveals about a Christian home: 

A.     The Marks of a Christian Home (vs 21; 31-32) 

[Ephesians 5:21 ²¹ Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.]

[Ephesians 5:31-32 ³¹ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. ³² This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.]

1.   A Mutual submission.  ["Submit yourselves one to another." – While it is clear that there is a God given order for the home, it is equally clear that husband’s and wives are to treat each other as royal heirs in the household of your divine King of kings.] 

[a.  Submit - hupotasso hoop-ot-as'-so (gk) - (5:21) In this verse Paul speaks of yet another way in which the Spirit-filled life should express itself. “Submitting” is hupotassō (ὑποτασσω). The simple verb tassō (τασσω) was used in classical Greek in a military meaning, “to draw up in order of battle, to form, array, marshall” both troops or ships. It speaks of soldiers marshalled in military order under a commanding officer. Thus, it speaks of the subjection of one individual under or to another. The prefixed preposition hupo (ὑπο) means “under.” Hupotassō (ὑποτασσω) in classical Greek meant, “to subject, make subject.” In n.t. Greek, it means, “to arrange under, to subordinate, put in subjection,” in the middle voice as it is here, “to subject one’s self to, to obey.” Alford says: “As we are otherwise to be filled, otherwise to sing and rejoice, so also we are otherwise to behave—not blustering nor letting our voices rise in selfish vaunting, as such men do,—but subject to one another.” Subjecting one’s self to another is the opposite of self assertion, the opposite of an independent, autocratic spirit. It is the desire to get along with one another, being satisfied with less than one’s due, a sweet reasonableness of attitude. The best texts have “Christ” instead of “God.”^[1]]  

2.   Based upon a Magnificent Savior [- "In the fear of God" – Learning to submit to one another, is a manifestation of the Lordship of Jesus Christ in our lives.  We demonstrate our confidence in him by revealing our ability to trust His lordship and direction in our husband or wife. Submission in a Christian relationship is a demonstration of our ability to trust the goodness and guidance of our Lord, God, more than our ability to trust our companion.] 

[a.  Marriage is not a contract it is a covenant.  A covenant between a man and God, and a woman and God.] 

[b. If you are having trouble submitting to your husband or wife you must ask yourself:] 

[1. Do you trust that the Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord of your spouse?  If not why not?] 

[2. Do you trust that the Lord Jesus Christ can and will guide your spouse through the Holy Spirit and God’s written Word?] 

[c. If you are engaged to be married you must ask yourself these same questions and add, will you be able to trust our Lord to guide both you and your future spouse for the duration of your lives.] 

B.  The Wife of a Christian Home (vs 22-23) - The Godly wife must: 

1.   Yearn for Christ's purpose (vs 22) [– “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” ] 

[a.  Submission is God's purpose for a wife in a Christian Home.] 

[b. A wife is called upon to willingly place herself under her husband, not so much in honor towards him, but more so in honor to her Lord.] 

2.   Yield to God's plan (vs 23) [- “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”]  

[a.  Learning to live by God's plan does not make a wife inferior and her husband superior.] 

[1)  It takes a greater strength to learn to submit.] 

[b.  Who has placed the husband in a position of authority?  God has.] 

[1)  When a wife learns to cheerfully submit to her husband, she has learned to honor God's plan.] 

3.   Be Yoked for God's glory (vs 24, 33; Matt 11.28-30; Prov 14.1; 31.11) [- “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” ] 

[a.  When the yoke is shared cooperatively its burden is easy to carry (Matt 11.28-30)] 

[Matthew 11:28-30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. ] 

[b.  Wives need to give themselves to their husbands as the church should give itself to Christ.] 

[1)  The Church strives to:] 

[a)  Honor Christ - wives ought to honor their husband's.] 

[(1)  We honor Christ because we recognize all that he has done for us.  Wives need to recognize what their husbands do for them.] 

[b)  Glorify or lift up Christ - Wives ought to lift up their husband's (Prov 14.1).] 

[Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. ] 

[c)  Testify of Christ - Wives ought to speak well of their husband's (Prov 31.11).] 

[Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.]  

[2. Respect (Eph 5.33) – “. . . and the wife see that she reverence her husband” – The key to a wife honoring her husband as she ought is the all important word respect.  For a wife to honor her husband is for a wife to respect her husband is every regard.  It is the lost element in contemporary Christian homes.  A wife should never, ever do anything to belittle or berate her husband before their children nor in public.  Not even one single time.] 

["Dr. E.V. Hill is pastor of the great Mount Zion Baptist Church in Watts, California. He tells a story of his wife in the early days of their marriage. He came home from his pastoral duties to find the house dark. He went into the house and saw candlelight. His wife ran to meet him and embraced him. Why no lights? She told him that she just thought it would be good for them to have a candlelight supper together. He thought that was a great idea and portended a great evening. He went to a sink to wash his hands, tried to turn on a light but nothing happened. He asked her why the lights would not work. She broke down crying and admitted that she did not have enough money from his salary to pay the light bill. She told him that she had rather have a romantic, candlelight dinner with him anyway. Hill went on to say that his wife could have attacked him. She could have reminded him of the nice home she came from and all the money her father had. She could have told him that she never in her life saw the power turned off in her home growing up because the family lacked money. Hill said that she thought to much of him to bruise his ego, to destroy his pride, to hurt him - even though she could have."] [Mike Minnix, Marriage With A Mission] 

C.  The Husband of a Christian Home (vs 25-31) - The husband's leadership should be marked with: 

1.   Servant Leadership (vs 23-25) [– “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”]  

[a.  The authority of the home (vs 23).  Husband's, God has placed you over the home, but under Christ.] 

[1)  Husbands ought to treat their wives as Christ treats the Church.] 

[b.  The attitude of the head (vs 25; Mark 10.44-45) "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church"] 

[1)  We are joined together - we are one in Christ.] 

[Mark 10:44-45 And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. 45For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. ] 

[c.  The ascension of the home (vs 23) "He is the savior of the body."] 

[1)  Christ never diminishes the Church, but He builds it up.] 

2.  Sacrificial Love (vs 25-29) - Christ's love is: 

a.   Passionate love (vs 25) [– “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”  - He gave Himself for the Church.] 

b.   Purifying love (vs 26-27) [– “That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, ²⁷ That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish” - He is cleansing and washing us.] 

c.   Protecting love (vs 28) [– “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself”.- As their own body.] 

d.   Providing love (vs 29) – “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” - Nourishes and cherishes it.] 

3.   Steadfast Loyalty (vs 30-32; Rom 8.35-39) Notice the: 

a.   Inseparable bond (vs 30-31) [– “For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. ³¹ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” - Cleave to one another.

2. [What about divorce and separation in marriage - Two Biblical Reasons For Divorce.

    a. Fornication (Matt 5.31-32; 19.7-9) - Fornication is often understood to be adultery in our day, but it indicates so much more.  It points toward sexual immorality rather than just adultery.  Hosea is an example of the longsuffering that is to accompany the marriage union and bond.

   b. An unsaved spouse that leaves the marriage (1 Cor 7.10-16; 2 Cor 6.14)

b.   Impeccable comparison (vs 32) [– “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” - The picture of Christ and his Church.] 

c.   Indelible love (vs 25; Rom 8.35-39) [– “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” ] 

[Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ] 

["The beauty of a house is harmony,
The security of a house is loyalty,
The joy of a house is love,
The plenty of a house is in children,
The rule of a house is service,
The comfort of a house is God Himself."][-Frank Crane] 

D.  The Manifestations of a Christian Home (vs 33) [– “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” ] – A Christian Home: 

1.   Has a husband that loves his wife 

2.   A wife that honors her husband. 

3.   A Savior the binds them together

Sugar Creek Baptist, Sunday June 27, 2004. in the series New Life in Christ