[On one occasion I was talking to a little girl who was
standing there and, not knowing her well at all, I said: "Tell me which one of
these houses you live in." The sun was shining brightly, flickering through the
trees and on the houses, and she answered: "You mean the house that I live in? I
live in a home."]
["Yes," I said, "but what's the difference?" "Well," she
replied, "the sun shines on a house, but it shines in a home."] [-Robert E.
Edgar]
["While it may be true that marriage is made in heaven,
one needs to realize they must be managed on earth and are often
marred from hell."] [Mike Minnix, Marriage
With A Mission]
[Someone said that all marriages are happy, it's the living
together afterwards that is tough! ]
[Marriage can double your trouble and divide your joy, or
double your joy and divide your trouble. ]
[Moving parts always cause friction. The key is to keep the
friction down with the oil of love.]
[In this last part of Ephesians Chapter Five, God reveals to
us through Paul, how to have the light of Jesus shinning in our homes.
God is describing a Christian home for us.]
Notice what Ephesians
reveals about a Christian home:
A.
The Marks of a Christian Home
(vs 21; 31-32)
[Ephesians 5:21
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.]
[Ephesians 5:31-32 31 For
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his
wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.]
1.
A Mutual submission.
["Submit yourselves one to
another." – While it is clear that there is a God given order for the home,
it is equally clear that husband’s and wives are to treat each other as royal
heirs in the household of your divine King of kings.]
[a.
Submit -
hupotasso hoop-ot-as'-so (gk) -
(5:21) In this verse Paul speaks of yet another way in which the Spirit-filled
life should express itself. “Submitting” is
hupotassō (ὑποτασσω).
The simple verb tassō
(τασσω)
was used in classical Greek in a
military meaning, “to draw up in order of battle, to form, array, marshall” both troops or ships. It speaks of
soldiers marshalled in military order under a commanding officer. Thus, it
speaks of the subjection of one individual under or to another. The prefixed
preposition hupo
(ὑπο)
means “under.” Hupotassō
(ὑποτασσω)
in classical Greek meant, “to subject, make subject.” In
n.t. Greek, it means, “to arrange
under, to subordinate, put in subjection,” in the middle voice as it is here,
“to subject one’s self to, to obey.” Alford says: “As we are otherwise to be
filled, otherwise to sing and rejoice, so also we are otherwise to behave—not
blustering nor letting our voices rise in selfish vaunting, as such men do,—but
subject to one another.” Subjecting
one’s self to another is the opposite of self assertion, the opposite of an
independent, autocratic spirit. It is the desire to get along with one another,
being satisfied with less than one’s due, a sweet reasonableness of
attitude. The best texts have “Christ” instead of “God.”[1]]
2.
Based upon a Magnificent Savior
[- "In the fear of God" –
Learning to submit to one another, is a manifestation of the Lordship of Jesus
Christ in our lives. We demonstrate
our confidence in him by revealing our ability to trust His lordship and
direction in our husband or wife. Submission in a Christian relationship is a
demonstration of our ability to trust the goodness and guidance of our Lord,
God, more than our ability to trust our companion.]
[a.
Marriage is not a contract it is a covenant.
A covenant between a man and God, and a woman and God.]
[b. If you are having trouble submitting to your
husband or wife you must ask yourself:]
[1. Do you trust that the Lord Jesus Christ is the
Lord of your spouse? If not why
not?]
[2. Do you trust that the Lord Jesus Christ can and
will guide your spouse through the Holy Spirit and God’s written Word?]
[c. If you are engaged to be married you must ask
yourself these same questions and add, will you be able to trust our Lord to
guide both you and your future spouse for the duration of your lives.]
B. The Wife of
a Christian
Home (vs 22-23) - The
Godly wife must:
1.
Yearn for Christ's purpose
(vs 22) [– “Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” ]
[a.
Submission is God's purpose for a wife in a
Christian
Home.]
[b. A wife is called upon to willingly place herself
under her husband, not so much in honor towards him, but more so in honor to her
Lord.]
2.
Yield to God's plan (vs 23) [-
“For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the
body.”]
[a.
Learning to live by God's plan does not make a wife inferior and her husband
superior.]
[1) It
takes a greater strength to learn to submit.]
[b. Who
has placed the husband in a position of authority?
God has.]
[1) When a
wife learns to cheerfully submit to her husband, she has learned to honor God's
plan.]
3.
Be Yoked for God's glory (vs 24, 33; Matt 11.28-30;
Prov 14.1;
31.11) [-
“Therefore as the church is subject unto
Christ, so let the wives
be to their own husbands in
every thing.” ]
[a. When
the yoke is shared cooperatively its burden is easy to carry (Matt 11.28-30)]
[Matthew 11:28-30
Come unto me, all ye that
labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in
heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30For my yoke is easy,
and my burden is light. ]
[b. Wives
need to give themselves to their husbands as the church should give itself to
Christ.]
[1)
The Church strives to:]
[a)
Honor Christ - wives ought to honor
their husband's.]
[(1) We
honor Christ because we recognize all that he has done for us.
Wives need to recognize what their husbands do for them.]
[b)
Glorify or lift up Christ - Wives
ought to lift up their husband's (Prov 14.1).]
[Proverbs 14:1
Every wise woman
buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. ]
[c)
Testify of Christ - Wives ought to
speak well of their husband's (Prov 31.11).]
[Proverbs
31:11 The heart of her
husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.]
[2.
Respect
(Eph 5.33)
– “. . . and the wife
see that she reverence
her husband” – The key to a
wife honoring her husband as she ought is the all important word respect.
For a wife to honor her husband is for a wife to respect her husband is
every regard. It is the lost
element in contemporary Christian homes.
A wife should never, ever do anything to belittle or berate her husband
before their children nor in public.
Not even one single time.]
["Dr. E.V. Hill
is pastor of the great Mount Zion Baptist
Church in Watts, California.
He tells a story of his wife in the early days of their marriage. He came home
from his pastoral duties to find the house dark. He went into the house and saw
candlelight. His wife ran to meet him and embraced him. Why no lights? She told
him that she just thought it would be good for them to have a candlelight supper
together. He thought that was a great idea and portended a great evening. He
went to a sink to wash his hands, tried to turn on a light but nothing happened.
He asked her why the lights would not work. She broke down crying and admitted
that she did not have enough money from his salary to pay the light bill. She
told him that she had rather have a romantic, candlelight dinner with him
anyway. Hill went on to say that his wife could have attacked him. She could
have reminded him of the nice home she came from and all the money her father
had. She could have told him that she never in her life saw the power turned off
in her home growing up because the family lacked money. Hill said that she
thought to much of him to bruise his ego, to destroy his pride, to hurt him -
even though she could have."] [Mike Minnix,
Marriage With A Mission]
C. The Husband
of a Christian
Home (vs 25-31) - The
husband's leadership should be marked with:
1.
Servant Leadership (vs 23-25) [–
“For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is
subject unto Christ, so let the
wives be to their own husbands
in every thing. 25 Husbands, love
your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”]
[a.
The authority of the home
(vs 23). Husband's, God has
placed you over the home, but under Christ.]
[1)
Husbands ought to treat their wives as Christ treats the Church.]
[b.
The attitude of the head
(vs 25; Mark 10.44-45) "Husbands love
your wives as Christ loved the Church"]
[1) We are
joined together - we are one in Christ.]
[Mark 10:44-45
And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
45For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to
minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. ]
[c.
The ascension of the home
(vs 23) "He is the savior of the
body."]
[1) Christ
never diminishes the Church, but He builds it up.]
2.
Sacrificial Love (vs 25-29) -
Christ's love is:
a.
Passionate love (vs 25) [– “Husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
- He gave Himself for the Church.]
b.
Purifying love (vs 26-27) [–
“That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not
having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and
without blemish” - He is cleansing and washing us.]
c.
Protecting love (vs 28) [– “So
ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife
loveth himself”.- As their own body.]
d.
Providing love (vs 29) – “For
no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as
the Lord the church:” - Nourishes and cherishes it.]
3.
Steadfast Loyalty (vs 30-32; Rom 8.35-39)
Notice the:
a.
Inseparable bond (vs 30-31) [–
“For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one
flesh.” - Cleave to one another.
1. [One flesh forever (Matt 19.3-6; Mark 10.4-12) -
